What to do?

So we are at an interesting point in our marriage.   Nothing exciting like affairs or whether to have another baby or even a puppy (no to both thank you very much).  But what to do with two full time careers and one further education course and two young children when one of us has to travel.  Overseas.  For indeterminate amounts of time that promise to be a week and quickly turn into being two weeks or more and rinse and repeat?  For the best part of this year my other half has been away.  I am exhausted.  I am underperforming at work and my PhD.  I have flicked off work that I would normally grab with both hands.  I am simply making no progress with my PhD.  We do have some family support - we fly up my father in law to cover some of the time my husband is away.  But he has his own wife (not my husband's mother - his second wife), his own job and his own life.
The obvious solution, the one implied by senior bosses at my Damien's work, if that I stop working and/or studying.
Thing is I have worked hard to rebuild my career that got seriously derailed 11 years ago by us choosing my husband's work over mine.  I had a great job with great people in a great organisation but my husband was unhappy with his work so when he got offered a job overseas we thought this was a great opportunity for us both.  Particularly when my employer lined up an interview with its sister organisation in the same town; an interview that turned into a job with promotion.  Woot!

As it turned out we arrived just in time for the "tech-wreck" to pop a bubble.  We jumped back but only my husband got his old job back (yes the one he didn't like but this time they offered a promotion).   I tried for ages to get back in but no one was hiring - the market was flooded with tax specialists after the Big Five accounting firms became the Big 4.    Finally I got tutoring work at a university and rebuilt my career including undertaking a Masters of Law, having two children, saying goodbye to my dying mother and becoming the remaining family's matriarch.

Last year I converted all that casual slog for 8 years into a full time job.  This year I was made permanent staff.  Now its on the table to throw it all away.  A second time.

Thing is I don't think I am cut out for stay at home mothering.  I think I would go mad.  As lovely as it sounds to spend my days helping at the local school, taking the kids to sport and cultural activities and planning a household budget (ironically I am crap at budgets despite having several chapters in a financial planning textbook - one reason I work is to work off the guilt of my spending ways!).  I think I couldn't do it for more than a few months, years maximum.  But once the youngest started school and was past Kindy needs mum helpers stage then what?  Rebuild a third time?  Do I have the energy?  Could I do it again?

What to do?  And yes we have talked him changing jobs but it is difficult to find well-paid sciency jobs in our area and I am not sure I want to move.  The other thing I have done is built up a network here - babysitters, neighbours, school mums, friends.  I am not a local but my children will be.

Ah middle class dilemmas.